Only In Israel

Friday, May 02, 2003

A Prank Call
I couldn't wait any longer. The stories about the suicide bombers using ISM as a cover got me to do it.. I didn't mean to.. honest.. hehehehehehe.
Well, here's how it went. After watching the following entry on LGF. I got terribly pissed off, and decided to call ISM... I didn't mean it to become a prank call, but that's what has come out of it.
The phone rang. A guy answered: "ISM, hello"
Now, what I did next came as a total surprise even to me.
"Hello, HELLO? This is a call from the National Socialist Party of Russia. We would like to cooperate with your organization in the battle against the evil Jewish occupying forces." I said in a horrible made up Russian accent
"Errr... Well... errr. I mean, Yes, we could use any help in fighting off the Jewish occupation of Palestine." he replied.
At this point I cracked and hanged up the phone so the guy wont' hear me laughing. His racist response though left room for more. I called again.
"ISM hello"
"Sorry, the line disconnected, it is me again"
"Yes, we were speaking about cooperating with ISM"
"Yes, what kind of aid can we offer you? Volunteers, money?"
"Financial aid would be very much welcomed, and we're always open for volunteers"
"If we send you money, can I be sure it reaches the resistance and helps conduct glorious acts like the ones we've seen in Tel Aviv? I don't want to invest in some organization that wouldn't fight the Jews" I pushed harder. He had to realize this was a prank. He had too. He can't possibly be dumb enough to fall for that, can he?
"We do not officially endorse acts of violence"
A ray of light? Could it be we were all wrong about ISM? I was quickly proven wrong, as the guy on the other side continued:
"But I can guarantee you that your money will reach the right hands in our struggle"
"Stop being diplomatic with me, I want to know if my money reaches the brave martyrs who sacrifice their lives to free Palestine from the Jews."
"I'm not supposed to speak about it..."
"This is a very simple question. Yes or No?"
"Yes"
"You're not jewing me, are you?" (It was so clear I was faking, a one-eyed squirrel would understand it, but not the boys at ISM)
"Jewing?"
"You know, cheating, lying, faking"
"No sir, of course not. I'm not Jewish; I'm telling the truth here."
Well at this point I laughed out loud.
"What's funny?" The ISM boy asked dumbly.
"Hope you'll be the next to get run over by a bulldozer and get faxed home to his family." I said the last phrase without an accent, and hung up.

Hopefully I've exposed ISM's racist thoughts, ideas and ways. Anyone who ever considered them "peace" movement is now realizing his mistake. Jewhating freakazaoids…
My Russian accent was so phony, at certain stages I wanted to laugh out loud… I have no idea how I managed to hold myself…
Now i know people are going to claim I'm faking it. Sorry. I didn't have time to record the conversation. It is for real though.
I didn't write it along, so it isn't word by word. But i didn't twist the meaning of any of the thoughts that ISM guy tried to convey.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home